THE LOST ONE

THE LOST ONE

I’m so confuse today. I wanted to scream and shout just ease my pain. Maybe because I was a little bit distracted with family problems and other things. I am so tired for this past few months , I thought I couldn’t carry those loads I have in my back. I miss those days when  I’m  in trouble somebody would come and say “ you can do it friend”. I miss those days when I’m lost somebody would say “ hey here’s the right path” now, I have nothing but myself alone in this dark cold room.  I never dream to  end up my life like this. I promise.  I don’t want that the turning pit of my journey is just as simple as this, lying in the corner and watching the blank faded wall counting the tick of the clock.  Sometimes I ask myself, am I  lost? Before I  dream to be like this, now that everything has been  granted  feels like nothing but empty again.  Why can’t I feel so happy and problem-free.  Why can’t I feel Ok, perhaps there is something missing in my life right now. I am so depressed , bombarded with what will my life after few years.  Sounds like, I’m worried with tomorrow. I want all things properly set and prepared. I just hope I could find some ways  on  how to fix this  problem. Perhaps this is what they said, being strong doesn't mean you have to show you are strong even if you cant handle the situation anymore, sometimes you need to show your weaknesses.  Yes I know that everything has change. Before, when tribulations arise I’m just in the corner of my room crying. Now, when problems arise, I used to retrospect trying to find some ways on how to solve it, but not all the time, there are times that I’m speechless and blank.    How sad, I wish everything is ok.